I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
