just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Success! We fucked roommates!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
