People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
