okay pat passed out under dana's car
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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