just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
