help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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