I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
