yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
