that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
this boner is exhausting
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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