Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
