i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
