He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
