I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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