I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
