Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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