I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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