normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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