You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
