ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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