Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
