Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize