I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
