I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
