that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize