I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
