Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
