Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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