I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
