ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
