Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
