If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
