i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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