I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
