dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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