my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
