HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Too much gin, very little bucket
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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