He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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