i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
