i think i have herpe
just one?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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