She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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