I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
