i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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