Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
