A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
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