Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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