The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
