You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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