My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
