he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
