some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
