so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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