Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
organizing the empties. That sober.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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