Christians are straight up FREAKS
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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