is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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