so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize