i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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