OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize