Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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