the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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