I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
