I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm always down for nudity.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
