I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
