its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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