I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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