Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
