The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
