sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
