I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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