Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize