u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
