i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
too bad you live with your parents still
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
